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THE SIKH PERSPECTIVE ON SEXUALITY By: A K Shakoor MBE and Imtiaz Patel Dip., MSc. Edited by: Mr Charan Singh Bamhrah (Former visiting Sikh Minister of HM Prisons & Member of Interfaith Council)
SIKHS IN THE UK
Beginning in the UK.
Most Sikhs in the UK and in Lancashire are of Punjabi ethnic origin and many of these came directly to the UK from Indian Punjab, although a significant minority came via East Africa and other former British colonies to which members of their families had initially migrated.
Sikhs are mainly to be found in most large towns and cities in the UK but the largest communities are to be found in Birmingham, Bradford, Cardiff, Coventry, Glasgow, Leeds, Leicester, London and Wolverhampton.
Migration and Ethnicity Most Sikhs in the UK speak Punjabi and English. Almost all Gurdwaras (Sikh place of worship) run Punjabi classes. Gurdwaras are held in great esteem and are respected by Sikhs. Some Sikhs who came to the UK via East Africa may also be verbally fluent in Swahili. Punjabi speakers can communicate to some degree with Urdu and Hindi speakers as the three languages have some common vocabulary.
Gurmukhi is the script of the Sikh Scriptures, which is also used for writing the modern Punjabi language. Over eighty percent of Sikhs live in the Indian province of Punjab. The older Punjab province was partitioned in 1947 on the departure of British power from the sub-continent, when West Punjab became a part of Pakistan and East Punjab a part of India.
Origins and Development of Sikhism
The Ten Gurus Sikhs understand their “dharma” (the Sikh way of life), also known as “Gurmat”, to be an original, revealed religion which centres upon the teachings of the “Ten Gurus” of Sikhism.
The first Guru (Master) and founder of the faith, Guru Nanak Devji (1469-1539) was born in the Punjab at a place called Talwandi, renamed Nankana Saheb in his honour and now a part of the state of Pakistan. Guru Nanak Sahib preached a message of universal love, peace and brotherhood and emphasised worship of the one God. He never actively sought followers but taught that worship of God, in whatever traditions one practised it, should be sincere and honest and not clouded by hypocrisy or ritualism. Guru Nanakji, as the founder of Sikhism was succeeded by nine other Gurus. Each one of ten Gurus represents a divine attribute: Guru Angad Devji – Obedience Guru Amar Dasji – Equality Guru Ram Dasji – Service Guru Arjan Devji – Self Sacrifice Guru Hargobindji – Justice Guru Har Raiji – Mercy Guru Har Krishanji – Purity Guru Tegh Bahadurji – Tranquility Guru Gobind Singhji – Royal Courage (Saint and Soldier)
Although the word “guru” generally means a spiritual leader, to the Sikhs, when it is applied to their ten Gurus, its significance is much greater. After the line of the ten Gurus, Sikhism acknowledges no more human Gurus.
History Sikhism bestows upon its followers distinct religious beliefs and institutions together with its own language, literature, tradition and conventions. The Sikh community in the Indian Punjab emerged as temporal as well as the spiritual community with its own military, economic, social, and governmental structures and was a sovereign nation until the advent of the British Raj in the subcontinent.
Among the several towns founded by the Sikh Gurus, Amritsar, with the Darbar Sahib (commonly known among non-Sikhs as the Golden Temple) was developed by Guru Arjun Devji who installed the Guru Granth Sahibji (Sikhs Holy Book) at its centre. Guru Hargobindji built the Akal Takhat in front of the Darbar Sahib declaring it the seat of temporal authority. The Sikh sovereign, Ranjit Singhji, spent lavishly on buildings within its precincts, donating gold and other precious gifts.
Sources of Sikh Beliefs and Practices
Guru Granth Sahibji The Guru Granth Sahibji is the most revered of the Sikh scriptures. The original version was known as the Adi Granth, ad meaning “first”, both in time and importance and Granth meaning volume. It was compiled by Guru Arjan Devji. It contains the Gurbani (teaching or utterance of the Guru) of the first five Gurus and the Bhagat Bani, verses from Hindu and Muslim saints which were compatible with Sikh teachings.
Dasam Granth The Dasam Granth contains some writings of Guru Gobind Singhji and it was compiled by Bhai Mani Singh, who was the Granthi (administrator) of the Darbar Sahib.
Rahit Nama Rahit Nama consists of a set of principles according to which a Sikh’s way of life should be conducted. It covers ethics relating to spiritual, moral and social discipline, reputed to be based on the injunctions of Guru Gobind Singhji and compiled by various Sikh theologians. However, the Gurbani provides the fundamental guidelines and takes precedence in interpreting and following each Rahit Nama.
Rahit Maryada Rahit Maryada is the Sikh Code of Conduct which is published by the Shromani Gurdwara Management Committee in Amritsar-Punjab, India.
Works of Bhai Gurdas and Bhai Nandlal Expositions by Bhai Gurdas and Bhai Nandlal, two Sikh theologians, are also highly regarded and approved for reading and discourse in Gurudwaras, although they do not have the same status as the Guru Granth Sahibji and the Dasam Granth.
KEY SIKH BELIEFS
Definitions A Sikh is defined as one who believes in Akal Purakh (the one immoral God), the ten Gurus, the Guru Granth Sahibji (the Sikh Scriptures), and the Gurbani (teaching of the ten Gurus as unity). A Sikh also believes in the Amrit Pahul (the Sikh form of initiation) of the tenth Guru and adheres to no other religion. The Gurbani (also known as Gurshabad) is believed by Sikhs to be the Word of God.
God The beliefs which are important to Sikhism include strict monotheism (belief in only one God). From a Sikh perspective this one God is known to Sikhs by many names including Ram, Mohan, Gobind, Hari, Allah and others. However, the two names traditionally used in worship, and especially in Nam Japna (the recitation of God’s name), are Satnam and Waheguru (Vishnu, Hari, Govind, Ram).
Sikhs believe that God is nirgun (transcendent) and also sargun (immanent) but can never be incarnate. It is believed God can be experienced but is beyond human comprehension.
Every section in the Sikh Holy Scriptures (Guru Granth Sahib Ji) begins with the fundamental belief of Sikhism, which states that: “There is but one God, the Eternal Truth, the Creator, without fear, without enmity, not subject to time, immanent, beyond birth and death, self-existent: by the grace of the Guru, made known.”
Sikhs believe that God created countless universes as an act of will. It is believed that creation evolved slowly: that from air came water, from water came the lower forms of life leading to plants, birds, and animals and culminating in humans as the supreme form of created life on earth.
Goal of Life It was taught by Guru Nanak Devji that everything which happens is ultimately within God’s will and that people should be obedient to God’s will. This concept of the divine will or order is known as hukam. The Sikh belief is that a person is a small part of God. The person’s soul exists from the time of its creation until the time at which it is re-absorbed into God. Until then a person’s soul remains separate from God and the cycle of birth and death continues.
The karma (actions and their consequences) of this life determine whether a person will achieve the union with God which Sikhism sees as the purpose of human existence. This liberation from the cycle of rebirth is known as mukti.
There are also five stages to union with God. These are referred to as Dharam Khand (the region of realising one’s spiritual duty), Gian Khand (region of divine knowledge), Saram Khand (region of wisdom and effort), Karam Khand (region of divine grace) and Sach Khand (region of truth).
Khalsa Panth Sikhs believe in the collective identity of the Khalsa Panth as a society of equality irrespective of their background. Khalsa is synonymous with the Sikh community. The first five people to be initiated are known as the Panj Pyare (five beloved ones).
Traditions in Sikhism Sikhs do not acknowledge groupings within Sikhism which could be classified as such on the basis of doctrinal schools. Organisations do, however, exist within the Panth to cater for various interests or to reflect particular aspects of Sikh life.
There are other movements whose origins essentially lie in the revivalism of Sikh faith during its history. These are generally founded by Sikh individuals who are given the honorific title Sant.
Sants are those within Sikhism who, on the basis of their reputation for spiritual guidance and teaching, are respected and given this honorific title.
Sikh Life
Ethics Sikhs believe that in the course of everyday life God should always be remembered. Guru Nanakji taught that truth is above everything but higher still than truth is truthful living. Earning a living by honest and approved means, sharing with the needy, service to the community at large, or in helping to meet a particular need for the benefit of others is also an essential part of the Sikh way of leading an ethical life. The concept of equality is also a central part of Sikh ethics.
Equality The Sikh concept of equality embraces women as well as men in both secular and religious life. However, social and cultural conventions may influence gender roles in Sikh communities.
Amrit Pahul Amrit Pahul is the Sikh name for initiation into the Khalsa Panth. Amrit (the nectar of everlasting life) refers to the sweetened water used in Amrit Pahul. When coupled with adherence to the ethical principles of Sikhism this initiation is seen as the way to spiritual development and hence to the realisation of God’s grace. When married, women and men must undertake it together.
Five Ks Many Sikhs expect to be initiated at some stage in their life. Belonging to the Khalsa involves taking Amrit and wearing the five articles of faith which distinguish as Sikhs, commonly known as “the five Ks” because the Punjabi word for each begins with the sound of “k”.
The “five Ks” are
Kesh (uncut hair) This is usually tied up hair covered with a turban by men, although some women may also choose to wear it. The turban may be of any colour and is tied in a variety of styles. Only in certain cases do colours have particular meanings.
The turban is not mentioned as one of the “five Ks”, but it is seen as an essential and complementary adjunct to maintain the sanctity of the Kesh and is treated by Sikhs with utmost respect.
Kangha (A small hair comb) A small hair comb which should be worn in the hair. It is used to keep the hair clean and symbolises orderly spirituality.
Kara (A steel bracelet) A steel bracelet which serves as a reminder of the universality of God and is a symbol of spiritual allegiance and brotherhood, as well as a reminder to do good.
Kachchha (A knee length underwear) Is a knee length garment, tailored in a special manner, and usually worn under other clothes. It symbolises modesty and moral restraint.
Kirpan (A sword) A sword protects Sikh dignity and self-respect. It represents a readiness to fight in self-defence or in the protection of the weak and oppressed. Sikhs must never use the kirpan to fight for material gain.
In brief, the “five ks” have not only a moral and practical significance, but also a deep spiritual importance and the wearing of them is, for Sikhs, a sign of obedience to the will of God and of care for, and obedience to, the Gurus (Masters) and their teachings.
Nam Japna Nam Japna involves meditating on God and his attributes, reading and contemplating passages from the holy book. Nam Japna can be a personal activity or it can be performed as a family, congregational worship and is regarded as being very important to Sikh life.
Singh and Kaur All Sikh men take the religious name Singh (meaning lion) and all Sikh women have Kaur (meaning princess) as their second names, for an example, Amrit Kaur (female), Charan Singh (male). This practice relates to the abolition of the caste system.
However, it must be noted that the name Singh does not necessarily mean that a person is a Sikh since this name was common in South Asia before the rise of Sikhism.
Diet Tobacco, alcohol, and other intoxicants are prohibited for Sikhs. With regard to meat, those Sikhs who eat meat must not eat halal meat (meat from animals killed according to Muslim law) and meat is only permitted for consumption if it is jhatka. This is where the animal is killed with one stroke instantaneously. Many Sikhs, however, are vegetarians.
Pilgrimage Although pilgrimage does not constitute religious duty for Sikhs, places associated with the Sikh Gurus are treated as places of pilgrimage. Many Sikhs going to the Punjab will also visit the Darbar Sahib (known as Amritsar Golden temple). A visit to the birth place of Guru Nanak Devji at Nankana Sahib in Pakistan usually takes place in October/November each year when several hundred Sikhs from all over the world join their fellow Sikhs.
Birth, Marriage and Death On the birth of a child, the naming ceremony is held in a Gurdwara (the Sikh place of worship). After a prayer from the family, the name of the child is taken from the first letter of the vaak (first letter of the first paragraph of the Holly book), which is a passage of the Guru Granth Sahib (holy book) read after its random opening. Sikh marriage is known as a ceremony of bliss and is viewed as a two body and a one soul. Rather it is believed that it is a spiritual state since living in this world and discharging family duties is advocated as the Sikh way of life.
At death, Sikhs normally cremate the dead body. Prayers by the Priest and family members takes place during and after the cremation of the dead body.
Dress Sikhs are often recognised by their appearance. Most of them keep their hair uncut, so Sikh boys may have their hair tied on their heads in a top knot and covered with a handkerchief. When they are older they will wear a turban. This is not to keep the hair tidy, it serves as a mark of identity. Sikh women often wear Punjabi dress, shalwar kameez, a kind of trouser suit.
Sikh Worship
Gurdwara The Sikh place of congregational worship is called the Gurdwara, meaning “doorway of the Guru”. The Gurdwara is not only a place for formal worship, but it is also a centre for the provision of religious education, social activities such as youth clubs, women’s groups, welfare provision, and elderly day centres. A Gurdwara is usually recognisable from the outside by the triangular saffron flag (Nishan Saheb).
Before entering the hall of worship shoes must be removed, hand washed and heads must be covered. Visitors should ensure that they are dressed modestly.
Although it is not religiously prescribed, traditionally men and women tend to sit separately on opposite sides of the prayer hall. Children normally remain with their mothers. Worshippers sit on the floor, which is normally carpeted, with their legs crossed. In the prayer hall, the focal point is the Guru Granth Sahibji which is placed upon a dais.
Worship ends with the distribution of pershad. (semolina+butter+sugar fried in butter). And also langar (meal) served.
Sikh Calendar and Festivals
Calendar Most dates for Sikh festivals are calculated according to the lunar calendar and may vary from the Gregorian calendar within a period of fifteen days.
Festivals Festivals are celebrated by means of prayers, religious lectures, communal meals etc. The four major events which are celebrated by Sikhs are:
Guru Nanak Devji birthday (November) The celebration lasts for three days.
Martyrdom of Guru Tegh Bahadurji (November or December)
Guru Gobind Singh’s birthday (December or January)
Martyrdom of Guru Arjan Devji (May or June)
Other Sikh festival include
Installation of the Guru Granth Sahibji This festival occurs in August-September. It celebrates the conferment of the Guruship on the Guru Granth Sahibji by Guru Gobind Singh three days before his death.
Vaisakhi This celebrates the day in 1699 when Guru Gobind Singhji founded the order of the Khalsa. This is nearly always celebrated on the 13th April, but very occasionally on the 14th April, due to the discrepancy between the North Indian solar calendar and Gregorian solar calendar.
Diwali – Bandi chhor Divas Diwali is also celebrated among Sikhs. However, in the Sikh context it primarily commemorates Guru Hargobindji’s return from imprisonment by the Moghul Emperor, Jahangir. It is thus a festival of Bandi Chhor, and is celebrated by the illumination of Gurdwaras. Diwali is also celebrated by Hindus, but for different reasons.
The Concept of Relationship:
People are Divine Sikhism teaches that human beings are created by God and that God lives in them. In other words, people are a part of God. This means that for Sikhs all human beings are divine in essence. Therefore everyone should be respected in the way God is honoured. The Sikh Gurus taught that two things were necessary if human beings were to respect one another. The first is meditation. Meditation brings love and peace. Secondly, the Gurus were wise enough to realize the value of mixing with like-minded men and women. Sikhs believe that in sadh sangat (good company) one becomes good.
Friendship Sikhs teach that human friendships should be genuine and open, not based on a calculation that the friend can help in some way. In practice Sikh friendships are traditionally with people of the same sex. South Asian society doesn’t encourage young men and young women to mix freely outside the family after puberty. Friendships are often formed most closely with cousins and other members of the extensive kinship group and also in school/colleges, who tend to have the same values and share the same interest.
Love The love of God has already been mentioned. Love is a characteristic of God which has been implanted in human beings. Sikh should love one another which, once again, means that they should treat them with respect.
Relationship dynamics Sikhs, like every other groups, experience personal, family, and community relationship problems at large now and then. When individuals cannot sort them out for themselves they will go to their immediate family members, which is a kind of vast counselling service. If the problem is debt, someone will try to find the money to pay off the debts. If a mother needs a break from a large family because her health is suffering, there will be sisters, parents and cousins available to bring relief for a few days, weeks or even months. In Britain this network of strong joint family does not always exist, but Sikhs like other Asians would be very reluctant to share their problems with social workers, providing Social workers are trained and qualified in cultural and religious issues.
Social pride and honour requires them to keep things in the family or at least in the Sikh community. It is a bad family, not to be respected, which cannot solve its own difficulties.
Back home, in the Punjab, life is more disciplined than in Britain. The different groups, Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jains, and Sikhs share a very similar culture of arranged marriages, and sexual relationships before or outside marriage.
In most of the situations, the family even choose what careers their children will follow. Most children live in the family home until they marry, and often after the wedding.
Independence and individuality for young Sikhs have different meanings than they do for many western young people. The wisdom and authority of their parents is trusted and the rules they lay down are generally accepted and regarded as sensible.
The Family The Family is the key to Sikh relationships and to their outlook on life. It is in the family that children should first become aware of God, learn how to live with other people and gain values.
Joint family and extended family values are still quite important for Sikhs. The joint family structure indicates three to four generations living in one household. The extended family structure means blood relations living separately, but retaining family obligations on a collective basis. Both of these structures are set in a very formal hierarchy in which the male takes on the role of the authority in the household accompanied by older members of the family.
The Married Life Is The Right Life Sikhism insists that every adult should marry, if possible. It may be that some disability renders marriage impossible or undesirable, or there is an inequality in the ratio of men to women, as after a war, but the norm for Sikhs is married state. Marriage and the family are very important institutions to the Sikh way of life, both in religious and cultural terms. From a Sikh perspective marriage is more than a social contract. It is a part of God’s plan and order.
Traditionally people have perceived the roles in marriage to be those of the provider (male) and mother and child-bearer (female). The vows of a Sikh marriage are the standard ones of honour and respect for each other, honour and respect for each other’s families and unity between the families.
Sikhism does not say that marriages have to be arranged, however, it is a cultural and traditional norm in the community and the tradition tends to be followed that marriages are arranged. Arranged marriages are often misunderstood. Parents always want the best for their children. Marriages are arranged on the basis of the same attitudes, the same standard of living, status within the community, but does not forget the two individuals concerned. There is no force in arranged marriages.
The difference between Hindus and Sikhs is that Hindus marry within castes whereas Sikhism does not believe in the caste system.
Today, in Britain and in the Punjab (India), young Sikhs may have a considerable say in their marriages. However, parents, elderly people and perhaps other relatives still like to feel included in the choice of partners. Love marriages are not altogether trusted.
Divorce Sikhism considers marriage as a holy and fixed sacrament. Divorce brings shame and dishonour upon individuals and respective families. Hence, divorce is highly avoided. Divorce is not encouraged but it is accepted as a last resort if reconciliation cannot take place.
Divorce is – reluctantly – permitted by Sikhs but marriages are seen to be intended for a lifetime and its failure is an upset to family pride. Sikhs grounds for divorce are desertion, insanity, the impotence of the husband, habitual cruelty, adultery and change of religion.
Sex and Sexuality Sikhs believe that sexual activity is normal and acceptable. The sexual urge is part of the make up of all creatures and is implanted in human beings by God. However, the sex act is an expression of the union of husband and wife. There is no place for it outside marriage. It may be important in a marriage but it is not to be considered an end itself.
In Sikh teaching the primary wifely virtue is chastity. Virginity is a bride’s badge of respectability.
Overall the discussion of sex and sexuality are taboo and they are not discussed openly. When talked about it is within same sex groupings, and generally among peers. It is “officially” discussed at the time of the marriage ceremony.
Sex outside marriage Sex outside marriage has no place in Sikhism. Young people in their teens or even earlier become aware of their sexuality and are likely to become physically attracted to one another. They may not be able to exercise the restraint which adults should be capable of in such circumstances. This is a major reason why Sikh parents are anxious about their sons and daughter going to disco dances, parties and dating.
Birth control As Sikhs do not believe that primary purpose of sexual intercourse is to have children, there is no opposition to birth control. Of course this must be completely voluntary. Sikhs also do not agree with circumcision and do not cut their hair.
Abortion In recent years most countries in which Sikhs live have legalized abortion. Sikhs believe that human life begins at conception, so abortion is morally wrong. The sanctity of human life is not to be violated.
If conception is the result of rape this might be a justification for terminating a pregnancy. Sikhs do not accept the possibility of a child being born with severe mental or physical abnormalities as being sufficient reason for an abortion, though in such situations Sikhs recognise the rights of parents to make their own decision.
Celibacy This may be a way of life which someone chooses to adopt. If the motive is spiritual development and implies a belief that the married state is inferior to the celibate, Sikhs would reject this as a wasted effort.
Homosexuality Homosexuality and lesbianism would not be considered the Sikh way of life and would be seen as unnatural. A heterosexual relationship is seen as natural as the physical bodies of both men and women are meant to perform certain functions unique to their biological structure.
Homosexuality is not a new concept to Sikhs but it does seem to be something the Gurus did not encounter for they did not comment upon it in their teachings. In recent times the claim has been made that homosexuality is as natural as heterosexuality, but less common. Sikhs might eventually come to respect that view but traditionally they see it as perversion, performed for totally immoral reasons. Such acts are considered degrading, and damaging to the human personality.
Hence, the practice of homosexuality is prohibited, both from a religious and cultural perspective.
There could be, however, individuals within Sikh societies who may consider themselves homosexual or lesbian. In this situation, most probably they would hide their sexual identity because of the tabooness. This would result in either the individual leading a life of dual identity to ensure that the family honour and respect is not affected or he/she not facing any consequences.
Puberty Traditionally, once the girl reaches to the age of puberty, then sex education and awareness is taught through the mother, elder sisters or sister-in-laws. In cultural, rather than religious terms, once puberty starts girls are treated more respectfully and also become subject to more protection. Within the cultural context, it is understood that it is the mother’s role to educate the girl of the changes taking place and prepare her for adulthood.
For boys there is no formal sex education and the onset of puberty becomes very much an individual experience. Sikhs do not believe in circumcision.
Menstruation and Menopause From a Sikhs religious point of view there is no strict code of conduct in relation to menstruation and menopause. There are cultural and traditional rules associated with this subject, such as there is a common perception that menstruation is known as an impure phase. During this time a woman should not participate in any religious activities inside the home or outside the home. After the completion of menstruation a bath is taken and the woman returns to her normal activities of social and religious participation. This impure status also applies to the time of child birth after which the woman withdraws from religious activities and sexual intercourse. There is a period of forty days where the woman is seen to be impure.
Menopause remains taboo and discussion around this matter does not take place in public.
Contraception The Sikh holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib, is the highest authority in the Sikh religion. It serves as a guide to Sikhs on how to live a positive life, and details what behaviour is expected of all Sikhs. There is no definite religious guidance on the use of contraception in the Holy book. Birth control through the use of contraception is an acceptable part of married life. There is nothing within Sikhism that would prohibit the use of condoms in terms of ‘safer sex’ although Sikhism would primarily promote monogamy as a means to avoid sexually transmitted infections.
The responsibility for contraception is very much an individual decision and most of the time the couple would adopt what type of method would be compatible and suitable for them.
Health Education: Sikh regard the body as a temple built by God which should be looked after with care. Its natural form should be respected and maintained. Hence, along with Muslims, Hindus, Sikh people also give importance to Health Education. Sikh people believe that we must acquire health education in order to remain physically and spiritually healthy and happy.
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